A stark reminder

Seeing all this snow in the valley reminds me of a night I will never forget. 

I'm writing this not only to tell those who have not yet heard this story, but to have it documented so I will never forget the details of this night. Also, to be able to tell my grandchildren, and to use as a lifelong reminder so it won't happen again.

It all began one snowy night in Lewiston, Idaho. Huge, beautiful snowflakes were coming down and the sky was being lit up by the white ground making the night one to remember....

Snowy nights are rare in these parts, so Hottie Hubs and I decided to make the most of it. No, we didn't make naked snow angels, but close. We decided to go skinny dipping in my parents' hot tub. They were somewhere on the Kona Coast enjoying the opposite climate and we were plant watering/showering Miller on that fateful Sunday. It was a spur of the moment decision and we didn't have our swimsuits. But we're married yo! (thank goodness, because this story would have had a drastically different ending)

You see, the hot tub sits on its own balcony about 15 feet or so up (at the time I would have sworn it was 30 feet high), with no stairs leading down. And of course, there's just the one door off of the master bedroom leading to the balcony. I grabbed a towel right before we opened the door so our feet wouldn't freeze to the ground after we got stepped out of the tub. And immediately after shutting the door behind me, I knew. I knew that the door I just shut behind me was locked. And that every other door to my parents house was locked as well. And that we were standing there naked as jay birds about to get into a very hot relaxing tub. Exit romance, enter comedy.  So as fast as two bareskinned people can think in freezing, snowing weather, my hubs dangled my bare buns over the balcony railing and dropped me into the snow. Then threw the one towel over.  I distinctly remember as I landed (on my two feet thank God) seeing deer tracks in the snow right next to where I landed. 

Where am I going at 10pm with no clothes on?  And what is Rodney doing while I'm out being naked in the streets? Both great questions with equally great answers.

Thank thee dear Lord I knew the neighbors (of course, its Lewiston for cryin out loud). So when they heard a knock and saw me standing there with only a towel on, they let me in. Coincidentally they've been in a similar predicament.  And by similar I mean they have a deck with the same dumb locking door.  I'm pretty sure their story didn't involve winter or nudity (but I didn't ask for details).  MEANWHILE......Rodney's relaxing in the hot tub, because what else was he to do?!?!?

I needed the house key. My 95 year old grandpa and my (out of town at the time) sister were the only ones in this town with one. Awesome.  I called my uncle hoping he had a key, but he didn't. But he DID ask why I needed one right this instant and why it couldn't wait until the morning to get Papa's copy. I'm pretty sure I left some private parts out of the story.

For some reason my sister wasn't answering her phone.  I think she may have just been getting back into town.  So I called my mom, told her the situation briefly, and said I needed to get to a key asap.  I will never forget her response.  "Are you naked?????" 

Was I getting punk'd?  Was this some sort of sick joke? Did someone see my naked ass dangling from the balcony and got to my mom before I had a chance to???? Would Batman and Robin get the joker?

No, she's just a mom and has crazy mom intuition. I said, "Well, as a matter of fact I am, how did you know?"  I must of had a sense of naked urgency to my voice. 

So she suggested that I either drive to my sisters house unannounced (because she figured she just wasn't answering her phone at this time of night) or go wake up Papa.  Since now I was wearing a fancy bath robe courtesy of Ms. Neighbor, I decided to try my sisters rather than waltz into an old folks home after hours.  I remember the akward drive to my sisters house with the Mr. Neighbor, just praying that she was going to be home. She opened the door laughing at my robe. What are sisters for?  I quickly told her the story, knowing I would go into more fascinating details in the morning. Off with the key and off to get that (even more now) needed soak in the hot tub!!

BUUUT when I got back to the house and out to the hot tub balcony of shame, Hottie Hubs was now a prune and was more than ready to get out and said something to the effect of "I've seen this on '1001 Ways to Die', I gotta get OUT!" 

(Can I ask why a doornob would "feel" unlocked from the inside but truly be locked from the outside? And why the doorknob needed to be locked in the first place? That's what deadbolts are for!)

 I love to think about the "what ifs" of that story.  What if I didn't know any neighbors?  What if we had no towel? What if we had no key? What if the hot tub was cold? What if I didn't land on two feet? 

Stitch Fix

When I was little, I didn't like to dress up. I hated having to wear frilly dresses to recitals or Easter Sunday church.  They just didn't fit my personality. In high school and college, I mainly wore thrift shop t-shirts and jeans.

When I graduated college, my sister had just moved back to town and was helping me with my new wardrobe I desperately needed for my new job selling real estate. It was at that point that I started actually caring how I looked.

Now, over the last 8 years, I've acquired a closet I'm somewhat proud of. I started buying lots of jewelry and accessories from Forever 21.  Have you ever seen their prices? You can literally get 10 earrings, 10 necklaces, and 10 bracelets for a combined total of $40. Their crappy jewelry is really cute, stylish and cheap.  Perfect for me because if I lose something, its no biggie. And I lose 1 earring quite often due to the previously stretched earring-hole in my left ear.  (whole nutha story for nutha blog)Fashion does not come all that natural to me. I have to really work and try to look presentable/cute/my age.  This is where Stitch Fix comes in. Because who doesn't want a personal stylist mailing you clothes to try on and send back if you don't like them????

So, do I have your attention?  

Stitch fix is basically your online personal wardrobe styling BFF.  And believe me, in the Lewiston Clarkston Valley, thats something a few most us desperately need. Its a website (that is currently still in the beta testing stage...don't ask me what that means exactly) that asks you a bunch of questions regarding your size, style, price range and then they send you clothes to try out! In your own home! And you don't have to buy ANY of it (or pay ANY shipping)!  Its nothing short of amazing.  Lets dive right in, shall we? 

Here's my package:

First off, can you say Christmas in July?!?!

I have NO idea what is inside, but I'm giddy.

The tag is reminding me that if I buy all 5 items, they take 25% off entire order.

                                     

Inside were instructions and a free set of post-its!

There were 5 items. Each has a description tag that shows the outfit in 2 different suggested ways to wear it.  So thats helpful. Mainly because a few of these items would NOT look good just worn right off the rack. They need to be paired with other accessories or clothes that I would not have known or tried.

*FULL DISCLOSURE* I'm not a model, nor do I believe I am, or ever will be.  If you are a FB friend, you will notice I have no myspace mirror shots, duck faces or glam shots . I rarely photograph myself, and if I do, I probably won't post it for all to see because I don't often like pictures of myself.  I am an absolute DWEEB MCDWEEBY and I am ok with that.  My hubs thinks I'm a total hottie, and thats all that matters!!! :) Now enjoy the extreme dorkiness from the photoshoot my BFF Jenny and I had a couple nights ago.

Item #1.

Pink Stitch Top : Blouse liz accordian blouse

Peek-a-boo(b)

Styling suggestion on the tag!

First pic of the night.....just a smidge akward, thats all!

It was a sleeveless accordian blouse. With a lower back than front. Although it looked much cuter on than on the hanger, I just couldn't see myself wearing it, well, ever.

 

Item #2:

Miilla Outer Layer : Jacket flicka elbow sleeve hooded anorak

Front and back. My brother asked if I was going to start doing hair.

What? It was a question!?!?!

(inside joke involving a "To Catch a Predator" creep)

Want to instantly look 40 lbs heavier? Or possibly hide a six-pack candy for the movies?

Ok, whats with the back being longer than the front? Its like reverse maternity wear. I'm seeing a trend, and I'm not liking it.  This item is a tad too hip for me. Its a cargo style jacket (that looks downright silly from the backside) with 3/4 length sleeves. Too much goin on if ya ask me.

Item #3:

Amour Vert Dress : Casual Dress vivianne ruched jersey tunic dress

Perfect for blue bras and big butts

(neither of which I had at the time)

I imagine this one for someone with a bangin booty or large fupah. Only because it really draws attention to that region of the body, and not just the back. I love the material.  I own a lot of jersey knit stuff.  Its just ultra comfy.  It looks WAY better on the body than on the hanger.

 

Item #4:

Hourglass Lilly Dress : Casual Dress lyra 3/4 sleeve jersey tunic dress

I thought hourglasses had a smaller middle.

CHEEEEESE

Lola Rae blending in with the curtains

This NEEDS a belt. It literally has no shape to it. I actually put this on in the morning to wear to work on Monday, but decided I may want the day to think about it before I ruin it with my first sip of coffee. They actually would of had me with this one, because I can wear leggins for work appropriate-ness, and then shed them at 5pm for a cute mini. However, the elastic on the left sleeve was tight, and the elastic on the right was loose. I'm guessing the designer has a huge right forearm.

Item #5:

Pretty Persuasions Accessory : Scarf mixed striped lightweight scarf

Nevermind my stained pj shirt I combined with it

I really liked this one.  I like to wear scarves, but I also like to sew my own scarves. (translation: do not like to spend money on something i could make myself)

Now, here's the deets:  I spent $20 for the "fix". That $20 is now a credit towards any of the 5 items sent to me. If I don't keep any of the items, I forfeit the mulah. (I paid no shipping charges)

Notice I didn't tell you any of the items prices.  I did mention these are items you'd find in a boutique and not Forever 21, right? SOOO, they're quite a bit more than I'd spend. 

I also didn't mention the price right at first, because sometimes you just gotta give things a chance before the price can sway your decision.

The SEE THROUGH BLOUSE? $80.

The silly cargo jacket? $75.

The jersey knit dress? $86.
The no figure casual dress? $48.

The scarf? $38.

So basically take $20 (that i've already spent) off of each price and you can possibly justify it.

I'll just say I'm not in love with any of them really, but I've seen other people's stitch fixes, and they do have cute stuff.  Oh, and you are not in any sort of contract where they demand you order.  I can stop here, be out $20 and continue to shop where everyone else in this valley shops-Ross or TJ Maxx or "the mall".

Each time you order, you give feed back to help narrow your style down a little bit better so they can get an idea of how those items worked, and if they need to change how they style you for your next fix if you so choose.

If you are interested, please refer me by clicking on this link:

http://stitchfix.com/users/signup/?referrer_id=3018648

You'll sign up, be assigned a rad stylist, and in a few days, they'll get back with you and you can get started!  It was really fun, and I will probably do it again sometime soon.  I love the whole concept.