Burger with Fries, Minus the Grease!

I love crocheting small, strange items. Its a quick "fix", gets my creative juices flowin, and puts me in an instant good mood.   

Blake's Beardies 

(think Charlie's Angels)



The beards were a hit.  My etsy page BLEW up this Christmas season with orders. I had one friend from college order 8. I had orders from all over, including Delaware, New York, Texas, and North Carolina.  Its really fun to imagine complete strangers sporting the beards and them (hopefully) mentioning Blake's Beanies, or at least a mention of some guy named Blake that crochets. Hey, I'll take what I can get.  

 

Well, its not really beardie season right now, but it is always the season for a good burger and fries.  So thats exactly what I've made.

Would you like fries with that?

One all beef yarn patty, special sauce, lettuce,

cheese, pickles, onions - all on a sesame seed bun

Its like an addict moving on to his bigger and more dangerous fix. Beanies are the gateway craft. Well, actually I think pot holders are, but I skipped right to learning the beanie. I'm bad2thebone like that.

I got the idea about a year ago when I bought a crochet book that had different toys in them, like dolls and doll clothes.  I quickly learned I'm not a doll maker, because I hate reading patterns and, they overall, just took too much time.  I favor the wham-bam thank you ma'am projects.  The book showed a hamburger with all the fixins, and a tea set with teapots, cups, saucers, and cookies.  Screw the fake porcelain. Lets eat! So I made cookies, and a hamburger set for my niece Evelyn.  Since she lives in Las Vegas, I have no idea if she ever plays with them, but thats ok.  I will just envision her sleeping with them next to her pillow every night.

Since then, I kinda moved on. I made my burger, and that was my "fix". I was good for a bit. And theeeeen, the urge was back.  I just HAD to make more food.  I found this cah-ray-zee etsy shop that has patterns for literally everything (think crochet tool set and curling iron/hair dryer set to get an idea of the word everything).  She doesn't sell the actually crocheted item, but just the pattern to be able to make it.  Like I mentioned before, me and patterns mix about as well as orange juice and toothpaste.

Take a look at a pattern I quickly found for illustrative purposes (and this is a straight forward/easy level pattern):
 Using mc yarn, ch 28 (30, 33, 35, 38, 40).
Foundation Row: Sc in 2nd ch from hook, sc in each ch across -- 27 (29, 32, 34, 37, 39) sc.
Row 1: Ch 3 (counts as 1st dc), dc in next 0 (1, 0, 1, 0, 1) sts, *dc in next 2 sts, ch 1, sk next st, dc in next 2 sts; rep from * 5 (5, 6, 6, 7, 7) times, dc in next 1 (2, 1, 2, 1, 2) sts -- 22 (24, 26, 28, 30, 32) dc.
Row 2: Ch 3 (counts as 1st dc), dc in next 0 (1, 0, 1, 0, 1) sts, *dc in next 2 sts, (yo, pull up a loop) 4 times into next ch-1 sp, yo and pull through all 9 loops on hook, dc in next 2 sts; rep from * 5 (5, 6, 6, 7, 7) times, dc in next 1 (2, 1, 2, 1, 2) sts, turn -- 22 (24, 26, 28, 30, 32) dc
Row 3: Ch 1, sc in each st to end, turn -- 27 (29, 32, 34, 37, 39) sc.
*Repeat Row 3 until piece measures 9.25 (9.5, 10, 10.5, 10.5, 11.25)” from beginning.
Row 5: Ch 1, sc in next 9 (10, 10, 11, 12, 12, 13) sts, turn.
Row 6: Ch 1, sc in next 9 (10, 10, 11, 12, 12, 13) sts. Fasten off yarn and weave in yarn end.
Row 7: Attach yarn to unworked edge. Ch 1, sc in next 9 (10, 10, 11, 12, 12, 13) sts, turn leaving the center 9 (9, 12, 12, 13, 15) sts unworked.
Row 8: Ch 1, sc in next 9 (10, 10, 11, 12, 12) sts. Fasten off and weave in yarn end.

I think I barfed a little in my mouth

So, I like to take the pictures of crochet food items, and just DOOO IT.  If its not working, I have no problem completely pulling the string and starting over.  In fact, I like doing that with new stuff, because I like it to look good enough to sell, or at least gift to a relative.  I have unraveled so many projects even hours into them, just because I'm not going to waste perfectly good (and overpriced) yarn. One time, I knitted a sweater to completion. From like really expensive, thick ass yarn. Ok that didn't read correctly. But you get it.  Anyways, I followed a pattern (knitting ones seem to be easier to follow) and completed the sweater, well "shrug".  And I never wore it. Later I found out you have to "block" sweaters so they look good when you put them on, but by that time, shrugs were just about out of style.  ( the one shrug i did own/wear ellicited many jokes about where the other 1/2 of my sweater went)  So, I took the yarn, unravelled the entire shrug and made it into hats for babies, as modeled below. 

My friend Stephanie Krupicka took these two.

She's pretty awesome!

Baby Ezra wearing the bunny style.

Love her!

Back to the food. Man can I get off track easy.

I made some breakfast foods too:

MMmm. Bacon
(The maple kind?)

"Ohmahgoodness."

I'm always taking requests and custom orders, so if there is ever anything crazy you need crocheted or knitted, ask me, as I'd probably be MORE THAN HAPPY to crochet up something crazy/different.

Are these crazy enough for ya?

HAHAHA. Love the tattoo one.